You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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