im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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