Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
