Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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