Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
