And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
