I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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