i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize