im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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