The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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