I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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