my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Someone signed my nipple.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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