Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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