he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As shirtless as possible
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
