why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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