my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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