Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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