The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
