We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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