You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
