Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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