Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
