finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
