Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
