OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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