I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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