Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
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