If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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