Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize