At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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