I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just tell him i said nine months
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
