I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
