Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
