he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
