So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
