Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm passing your future prison.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
