Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
