doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bring me that man meat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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