so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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