they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
