He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I had to cum in my sink.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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