You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
