I feel like abortions should bother me more
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I currently don't understand fingers.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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