i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
