I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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