Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
