i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
