This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
