Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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