so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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