i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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