Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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