dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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