I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
